Mama’s Drinking Wine…

playing in dirt
Mama look. Look, Mama, look. Do you see it? Look. Look.

Because my children are full throttle into their new after school routine:

Step 1: Get yourself into a state of undress. Pants are optional, shirts are forbidden.

Step 2: Fill every container you can find with dirt, grass, and, today, a grub you discovered.

Step 4: Study the grub and insist Mama look at it for an extended period of time.

Step 5: Mama fills herself a generous portion of wine because you are now covered head to toe in dirt. And now you need a bath. And you HATE baths. In fact, you have sobbed during EVERY bath this week. Wine gives Mama hope that maybe tonight’s bath will be different. Wine makes Mama care just a little bit less when it’s not different at all.

 

Mama’s Drinking Wine…

Because since 2 a.m., the girls have had 3 fevers, 2 nose bleeds, and 47 bouts of sobbing over mouth pain due to the 137 or so sores in their mouths and throats (a rough estimate). Furthermore, one of them wants to chug the entire contents of the Tylenol bottle while the one with the actual fevers has refused to take any medicine since 10 a.m. Both are troubling. Since the poor monkeys were so miserable, Mama let them watch YouTube videos all day, which she now wonders is a torture tactic utilized by the U.S. government. If it is, it should be banned along with waterboarding. Oh, and it’s the last official day of summer vacation. Cheers!

kid and mama medicine
Who can spot Mama’s medicine?

Daddy’s Drinking Wine…

daddy's drinking wine
Photo courtesy of Janine and Rob R.

Because Daddy’s drink wine, too. There’s been some talk about sexism on here recently, and it occurred to us that dads need to be represented more frequently on this page. Good dads put their fair share of work into child rearing, which means they’re enjoying some of the good stuff along with us. And by good stuff, I mean booze.

Our inaugural featured daddy is home only twice a week for dinner. On this night, he and his wife planned to have a really nice steak dinner… their girls had other plans. They both abandoned their dinners, climbed on top of Daddy and polished off everything on his plate.  Thankfully, there was one thing they couldn’t get a hold of – Daddy’s wine.

Mama’s Drinking Wine…

IMG_9505Because the first official days of summer break have brought a legion of arguments over bubbles, bracelets, and, of course, whose turn it is for the iPad. No argument caused quite as much outrage and violence from the children as the one over Mama’s suggestion to “share” the lone bag of goldfish that was acquired at a recent birthday party. Slugging it out for sharing? This is going to be a fun summer. Cheers!

PS: Goldfish acquired through confiscation are more delicious. Especially when paired with some sauvy b.

Mama’s Drinking Wine…

For all of those times she really, really needed a glass of wine, but couldn’t. I think we’ve all been the mom below, so grab your glass and pour some out for the mamas who can’t have one. And by pour it out, I clearly mean, pour it into your mouth. What kind of savage wastes wine?

image
Photo Credit: Courtney T.

This is called “Why Mama Can’t Drink Wine” because she is working from home with a double ear infection afflicted 15 month old!